i read a blog post the other day that got me thinking.
i was thinking about relationships i have had over the course of time and the people we spent time with as a couple.
traditionally speaking, i would have said that, hands down, my friends are awesome and so most of "our" time was spent with "my" people.
i have realized lately, however, that i am more hesitant to introduce people to my friends.
there are plenty of people who are having a heyday judging me and my life lately. (that's cool. you don't have to agree with my decisions. you do have to respect that it is my journey. you can choose to support me in that or you can walk away.)
as a result, i am spending more time away from "my" people. not because i care that they are judging me, because as a dear friend pointed out, judgment of friends often comes from a place of love. a place of wanting what is best for you. sometimes judgments are really just concerns. sometimes not always. yet i am spending more time away because i have a problem with people placing judgment on other individual's they have never met. so where normally i would just introduce the two friend groups to each other, now i am choosing. splitting my time. keeping things separate.
these days that means more time with new people much different than myself. if we're being honest, i don't particularly like being the "new girl" in the group. this time, this group, it is different. not the normal high-anxiety. easier. relaxed.
i'm not sure what happens next. i am simply acknowledging the change, processing my reaction, and letting go. i can only focus on the things i can change.
"do not judge me for you only see what i choose to show you." -unknown
